| Come Back Dear |
[November 6th|8.46pm] |
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Emily will find a better place to fall asleep
She belongs to fairy tales that i could never be
The future haunts with memories that i could never have
But hope is just a stranger wondering how it got too bad
I die each time you look away
My heart, my life will never be the same
This love will take my everything
One breath, one touch will be the end of me
You could be the final straw that brings me back to earth
Ever-waiting airports full of the love that you deserve
Wishing i could find a way to wash away the past
Knowing that my heart will break, but at least the pain will last
I die each time you look away
My heart, my life will never be the same
This love will take my everything
One breath, one touch will be the end of me
Emily will find a better place to fall asleep
Maybe she will save me in the oceans of her dream
And maybe someday live
Maybe someday live
Maybe someday live
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| Everything There Ever Is |
[July 24th|10.51pm] |
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He Sings Songs
In Whispers To My ear
Close my Eyes
Face to face with Fear
I Will Take The Fall
Leave Nothing
Love All
He is Everything
And I Am
His.
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| Note to Self |
[May 2nd|2.03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
I can't believe how bitter I was before.
Teenage angst bitch! Hahaha :D
I'm glad i've changed. :D
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| Dear World |
[May 2nd|1.34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pensive |
] |
I am turning 18 and it is quite ironic that I don't have a bf at this age when I've had ones when I was younger.
Not that I want one, I just find it quite bizarre since I've always pictured myself not having a bf when I was in high school
And having one in college. Anyway, life has been a big BLAH. My dad's become stricter now that I'm single {WTF right?}
I have more friends that are boys, but I don't like anyone. I Really don't like ANYONE. I am crush-less and knowing me,
I find that hard to believe. Nevertheless, I find this quite interesting. Everything is new yet again, but you know what,
I like it. Starting from scratch, meeting new friends, being happy with just me may be intimidating but fulfilling at the same time
And even though I'm still kinda on house arrest with how my dad's going all mid-life crisis and shit, there's college.
College will be the breeding ground of my freedom. I will be Free to breathe again, to love again, to live again.
I can't wait.
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| COMFORT IN OBSCURITY |
[May 6th|4.59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
In this reality where busy streets never seem to run out of the fuss and where the cities seem to get crowded as the people get intoxicated & wasted by all the stress, all the pressure, & all the hassles of life, people just tend to satisfy their need to zone out every once in a while. Who wouldn’t want a break from everything life has to offer? Everyone gets tired of the cycle called reality wherein we have to face every day’s routines and deadlines. We are choked by the boundaries beyond our control but have yet to conform to. We all know that there’s no other way but to face reality but aren’t there instances wherein we all just want to take a break from it once in a while? I know that there’s no such thing as fantasies or fairytales & magic in our world today but there is that one personal space wherein we could all escape the hassles we have to face in life; that little personal space wherein we all dwell in once in a while after a hard day’s work; where we collect our thoughts & emotions while having no one’s criticisms or judgments but ours alone: Our own world, free from the rules and boundaries imposed on us; an abyss to our inner souls, minds and hearts. Our dwelling space is our comfort zone & while other people find comfort in writing, music, sports, entertainment & etc, I find comfort in obscurity. Why? Mainly because like I said, it’s my world, my life, therefore, it’s my rules.
Obscurity is objectively defined as a deficiency of light or darkness but I personally liked how it was further defined as a quality or condition of being unknown or difficult to understand. Obscurity, coming from the word obscure, came from old French word obscur & from the Latin word obscurus which meant to see. It’s nice to see how words evolved over the years and how people grew different as well & how I grew up different like everyone. Being so young & naïve before, I grew up with the outlook wherein life was a playground & a kingdom where I was rightfully queen-- well, that’s what my mom said so. I had that outlook as I was growing up as that cute chubby daddy’s girl everyone seemed to expect so much from but only to realize over the years that life had to change. Life doesn’t always go your way & I had to learn that the hard way. Living too much on people’s expectations of me and not of myself led me to my own personal frustrations. It was only until high school did I realize that I had a life and it wasn’t theirs. I started to develop my own tastes, own likings or choices on what was in & what was not & as the years passed by with my mind wide open to the diversity of life, I found myself dwelling more on the eccentricity of it. I figured that keeping up with the trends were other people’s ideas and not mine and if I followed it, then it would be no different from the life I had before. This act in itself was already my little escape from reality’s conformities & true enough I was able to dwell on what I was most comfortable with: Freedom. I suddenly found myself dwelling in the liberated aspects in life, such as rock music, modern or Victorian art, controversial books, a liking in emotive portraits, etc. All these were a result of me trying to break free against that stereotypical reality wherein everyone seemed to be so fine with these days while I certainly didn’t. I saw the need for change, I saw how hard it was today, I saw how others starved & begged and how others just laughed & walked away. I saw how the world changed into today. And while other people are all optimistic, carefree and happy-go-lucky with life like I used to be, I, frankly, didn’t believe that life were just all butterflies, bright sun shines, and blooming flowers anymore. I became more aware of the negativity around me. It’s not that I like being negative or being hard to deal with or pessimistic but knowing that there is a great need for change is the comfort I find in. Knowing that I’m aware of things, even the negative ones, is where I find comfort in rather than finding comfort in acting that there’s nothing wrong.
So obscurity to me is currently where I’m dwelling in these days. Similar to an oblivion where my thoughts are rather kept to myself rather than dealing with other people’s opinions that would never end. Obscurity is me facing the harshness of reality and its complexity and incomprehensibility. Free from all the fame I don’t need & the clarity yet to achieve. It is my only comfort zone where in people would not even dare to disturb me because they wouldn’t even want to deal with what’s on my mind which is sometimes, exactly what I want. It is the utter need to rather leave things unclear and unsaid and only personally felt for comfort in obscurity is where I find my need to satisfy my urge of that unwanted feeling of freedom from the world.
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| SHOW ME THE MONEY! |
[November 3rd|8.34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
refreshed |
] |
Whoever thought I could buy so much with just a $150 XD
I bought:
-5 FABulous shirts {Siren; Charlotte Russe}
-Black Flats with colored hearts and captions in them {Hot Topic}
-Gray Bolero Hoodie with Black-Polkadots {Charlotte Russe}
-Skullhead Stretch Camison {Charlotte Russe}
-Levi's Striped Purple and Black Sweater
-Cross Choker and 3 Hair bands {Pink, Green, Transparent: Claire's}
And I didn't forget you guys! :D Im buying you all these really cute hair bands!
Tell me which ones you want ok? And when I mean by GUYS, I mean:
Marga, Andrea, Dee, Les, Jana, Bianca
So you better tell me which designs you want on them
I've seen:
Black ones with pink/purple polkadots
Pink ones with black polkadots
Black with White Skullheads
Black and White Striped
Ones in plain colors: Black, white, red, pink, aqua
I'll also try to buy crap from Hello Kitty
& these cute ribboned clips with skullheads on them
Just tell me what you want and I'll see if I could buy em
Since my relatives are visitin us and yes-- that means more CASH!
MUAHA!
Shopping yesterday was done in Ontario Mills.
More in my list:
2 skinny jeans
Skullhead belt
Red Flats
Victorian Top {Optional}
Hee. Happy.
P.S. WHERE ARE YOU LESLIE? HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ANYWHERE OL! XD
So shopping in Ontario was bliss.
We started from 12 to 5 when me and my sister's limit was really only till 3, but there was a call of duty so scrap that. Harhar.
I had a good time with all the sales and promos & there was this really funny awkward incident that happened.
This African-American from this cellphone stall {Verizon Wireless I think} was staring at me & suddenly
He was talking to me really fast while I was walking so I couldn't understand him & I assumed that he was
Selling cellphones or sumthin but then he was all like "I really dig 'blah blah blah' " and I still couldn't understand him so I ignored him and it turned out that he was complimenting me & my outfit. My brother was all like "Pansinin mo naman" and I was like "Hindi ko siya maintindihan" & It turned out that he was saying: "I really dig your outfit. And something about my 'SWAGGER' " Uhh.... {cricket sounds} OK?XD
I wasn't really wearin much but Pink skullhead vans, skinny jeans, an Indigo Courderoy Blazer/Coat Thingy with Ribbons on the blue pockets and 3 Blue Buttons on the middle with lace on the sides over my Lime Ralph Lauren Polo and this Yellow shoulder bag so that got me quite confused.
Yesterday was also "scary Immigration interview day". The guys there are always scary but it turned out that we didnt even need an interview. We just got our pictures taken and our fingerprints on record. Gawd. People here always make a big deal out of everything. Geez. We had to wake up at 5:30 in the morning just for that. Crap.
Oh well, atleast I was able to sleep well already. My mom sngores too loudly & its been going on for 2 nights now.
Nwei, gotta split. My brother's gonna use it.
LEAVE A COMMENT IF YOU WANT HAIR BANDS GUYS!
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| Sucker. Pfft. |
[October 29th|4.04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
Ok. My flight's been refixed to tonight, Sunday at 8PM.
I'll be on PAL. Wave to me goodbye tonight when you see some plane passing by.
Crap. Uggh. I really dont want to tho..
Oh well.
I'll leave you a feekchur of moi incase you get lonely without me & I know you would esp. you LESLIE :)) Oh cammon. I know you likee. '3' Prrt Prrt.
  I didn't know which one to put XD Hahaha. Just took that todah. Oh well. It's rockstar cover vs flamingo gone wild. Hahahahaha. Im bored XD Bye freaks. Hello Hot Topic. |
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| Kiss My Ass |
[October 26th|6.20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
Bull. Yeah, you heard me. This is all bullshit.
I can't believe Im going to the States on Sat &
Im going to miss Halloween with my friends and
Not to mention my date with him...
I hate my parents and this stupid green card.
I don't even need it anymore since he's an American
Citizen already & YES! Im going to marry him anyway!
Muahahahahhahahaha. Argh.
This sucks.
Nwei, this crap here is the second thing I've done..
Had notes from my babes, Dee & Les. Muaha.
Doodles below Dee's note until just above Average
Everyday Seems Psycho was done by her & Skulls
Beside Leslie's note were doodled by Leslie herself.
The rest were my own weird creatures and doodles.
Gawd. This sucks.. I really miss him like hell.
Oh well.
Don't worry, smiles everyone k?
Im coming back with presents from Hot Topic :) Woot~ [Hopefully.]
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| Tokito |
[September 30th|5.09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
 Here's my first pathetic attempt. It's just doodles but it helps to keep my mind off things.I've created 6 so far but I'll post the others once in a while. |
|
| Woot~ |
[September 30th|11.05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
 K, done fixing the layout. Woot~ :D I cant believe how paranoid my parents are. I bet they'd put a leash on me soon. Pfft---- Time to explode.
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| Comfort in Obscurity |
[September 29th|6.08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indifferent |
] |
Features tragedy_resist's contemplative works from her twisted imagination moved by her usual world of insanity in this never-ending cycle that everyone seems to love called Reality. This LJ mainly has all that crappy art she's been doing to keep herself busy from being over-destructive and irrational.
Intoxicated Speaking:
Ok. So I'm new w/ this LJ crap so do forgive. This is where I'll basically put all the graffiti, doodles, or drawings that Ive been doing. These stuff Ive done are mainly my so-called therapy to avoid me from being destructive in class or at home. I figured that it'd be better if I kept myself busy from biting people's heads off or something. I decided to put what Ive done lately in an LJ so that all that time and ink wouldn't be wasted and so that I'd have some backup in case all my work gets shredded by my parents or worse, get burned. Im still trying to figure out how to fix this thing so I guess ill be putting in stuff when Im done. For more of me, check my blogspot.
That's about it. Keep breathing.
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